15th july 2002 - nothing has changed

friday 13th january 2005
how much do you love me? she said and he laughed because it wasn’t true.
And this small joke was part of the bigger joke (and was the big joke) and people shared oh so easily in the spirit of the joke and it was the big joke and you didn’t need to understand it.
When people shut their eyes she hears that absent something of deaf laughter. When she is not in her body the unfathomable circus of humans and time brings her to a funnybone crux. But that wasn’t true because her body is all she is in.
And who is laughing now?
Listen.
And at the top of the tree all the small, near things.
The wind and the everything.

Skimboards and rock diving dogbites and torn ligaments septic cuts concussion a 24 pack burping and smiling looking for affection raw food dares and being a wuss.
eccentric and unmarked. stored for later, fuller reverence. and somebody will show you the way. nothing’s for free. good thing you’re paying.
The question is, what would, be done, without.
Bobbing along and not being stupid, not being like that.
One day.
Vomiting and running. (Because feet are the first part of the body).
But if she knows, she knows. and that’s the difference.
As if it’s true.