these little things that plug at my heart strings

thursday, 24th february

So when you write is it like peeing or thought. Is it a bodily function that is traceable? Is it as natural, is it as unbidden, as unregulable as sweat in humid conditions? Why? This is the big question. In fact, why?, is the only question. “Why?” is question. Is as does. Raison d’etre. This is the germ of all human genius. The human genius is for explanation.
The human genius for explanation (requires to operate) the prerequisite “why?”. Why is writing so unsatisfactory. More than the inadequacy of words. The crafting of word to the truth of the thought. The gap in integrity between the transmission of and the impetus that motivates speech. To communicate in a learned matrix. The straightjacket of language. Flip the bird at grammar and make a futile escape a pretend escape from the clutches of permissible expression. A new language?An unrecognizing of language? Denial. Ignorance. Ridiculising.
When you write, it is an act of will, yours on the myriad of perceptivities in which you operate. Another’s will to whom you address your inclinations, to deliver a work of your own independence that they commissioned but did not commission. The commission is like the slipped sideways submission.So that you can always say, “I did not mean that” What is meant?This is where language gives a respite from the act of justification that it finds itself an affiliate to.…You can’t start with a hug. You can never start with a hug, it’s what is built up to. The hug isn’t a beginning.…What I keep being confronted with in life is the importance of not throwing yourself off a bridge. Just over and over. And the constant realization of how young you were.…So that’s the most perfect poem.…What?…Two people meeting. That’s the hug not being any sort of a beginning, any sort of a carry on. There must, in a story, be something for there to be carried on, yeah, so if something is carried on, then the sublime, the thing that gets the audiences rise out of their seats and their train of thought to some clear inspiration that’s when you introduce the two people meeting each other. You can set it up and it can be skillfully incorporated into the carry on, the train of thinking – oh yes, the narrative, and this can be honed, you can learn a multitude of genres, yeah, you know – but you see, the meeting, the physical act and the time it takes and the space it covers and the expectation and perspectives and emotions, it’s this meeting. The sublime is captured in the meeting, and in your story always, always keep the integrity of the meeting and you will have a little kernel of magic to infuse the exercise and your process, so even if you are having writing troubles, you know you have magic, and at your discretion you can implement it, always, always refer your sensitivity to the meeting.It’s the perfect poem. It’s the most perfect poem I know. What are we dealing with – form and impetus and humility and absolute tender honesty. There is no better representation of the humanity of humanity than the meeting of two people. Do you see? You see.…You can’t really interpret a meeting. You know. It’s essential. It is the essential.…Yeah, alrighty, I get you.